I’ve been suffering a bit of a writers block of late.
Not that I’ve had nothing to write about, actually the opposite is true. I’ve had too much.
And now I’ve got ‘behind’. And every time I think about writing a post, I get overrun with guilt about the post(s) that I still haven’t got around to writing.
That’s silly, right?!
That’s not the way my blog is meant to make me feel. It’s not why I started it. I started it to document this crazy rollercoaster.
Turns out that just recently, I’ve been too busy ‘enjoying’ the rollercoaster to really get any of it written down.
So to help me get over my guilt, and to bring you up to speed. Here’s the low down on what has been happening (In no particular order)
Each of these points really deserves a post all of it’s own, but this will have to do! (Sorry it’s a bit long as a result)
We’ve decided to definitely extend. We got a bit excited when the government relaxed the planning laws, as it meant we wouldnt need planning permission, but it turns out our council isn’t following suit. Therefore we will, and are, facing a 6-8 week delay as a result. Not great with a Feb deadline! Now we will be happy if the worst of the mess is behind us by then, we can always finish after the baby arrives. I cant wait to get started, the longer it goes on the more frustrated I’m getting with the house as it is!
Currently the plans are still being drawn up, I’m itching to get them finished so we can get things moving!
Have now trained as newborn photographer, which is excellent! Loving photographing such precious tiny babies! I’m getting more wedding enquiries and a few portrait sessions too, so the ball is really rolling now. Hubby surprised me with some studio lights and that has helped me no end. I’m so privileged to have such a supportive husband.
Business is really picking up which is fantastic, just still working out the best way to juggle all my jobs and roles!
I’ve also re-started up as a PartyLite consultant (think Body Shop parties but with candles), and I’m hoping this will being in a few pennies here and there. My ‘leader’ is very ‘encouraging’, and obviously wants to see me do well, but really I see it as a bit here and there, not a full time job!
After my last employer finished my casual contract (a real blessing in disguise) I’ve started temping at the University, in one of the finance departments. The team are lovely, a small office of just 6 other people, a huge change to the open plan 200+ people office I’m used to! I think the pregnancy was a bit of a shock to them as I didn’t mention it (under 20 weeks at the time and temping anyway so really didn’t feel I should say anything), but they’ve been great and supportive. I’ll probably be there until end of Nov/beginning of Dec.
Other good news is that due to my working arrangements last year and the amount of tax etc I’ve paid, I am entitled to full Maternity Allowance from the Government! I’ve never had a penny of support from them, except the Child Benefit, so to know that once my temp role finishes I’ll be about ready to start claiming that has taken a massive weight off my shoulder. I was really worrying about finances around when the baby was born, despite having lots of things in the pipeline to start earning me money, it wasn’t looking like any of them would be fruitful enough, soon enough. This should see us through till everything is really up and running.
Lastly last week I went to Brighton for my HypnoBirthing Practitioner training. I had an amazing time with a great bunch of like minded people; Mums, Midwives and Hypnotherapists. I can’t wait to start helping other couples discover how to have a better more natural birth for their babies. If anyone wants to know more about HypnoBirthing, just drop me a line, I’m more than happy to chat about it! It was also especially lovely being pregnant while doing the course as I bonded with our little baby in a way I hadn’t managed yet…
Bringing me onto
Baby’s good! We’re up to nearly 22 weeks now! Had our scan and all looks well. I was so relieved! Took F with us to the scan, and he was pointing at the screen as if to say “look! My little brother/sister!”, we kept the sex a surprise. Actually I did get a good look between the legs on the scan, but honestly had no clue what I was looking at, so none the wiser!
We have, obviously, now broken the news to all friends and family. Despite me being so worried about how the news would be received, everyone’s thrilled! Mum had guessed, and Dad was shocked. Hubbys family were very surprised but pleased. Still not sure I’m getting the same levels of excitement from them as I am from my own family, but to be honest, it’s that way with everything with them!
Told my sister when she came back from 4 months in America by having a tshirt made for F saying “I’m going to be a big brother!” for him to wear when she saw him, it took her a little while for the penny to drop but she was thrilled when she realised. The tshirt was too good to waste, so I put a photo of him in it on facebook to announce it to the world, that went down well too.
Lovely to be ‘out of the pregnancy closet’ as Clara said!
I’m now sporting quite a bump, and just the last week or two getting lots of kicks which is so reassuring. Being so busy with F, I felt I hadn’t really got my head around the fact we were having another baby. Although I knew we were, I don’t think I really believed it! I’m now starting to realise the reality and getting excited. Using some of the bonding methods mentioned in HypnoBirthing is really helping (to the point of crying in front of everyone on my course last week – highly embarrassing) and also I’m making sure I spend a little bit of my time focusing on this pregnancy and this baby, like at pregnancy yoga.
‘F’, is great. I’m really struggling to nickname him for this blog. I’m afraid his initial will have to do for now! Up til now he’s always been our ‘baby’, but having 2 babies to talk about is very confusing!
He really is great though. Can’t express how much I love this little guy.
He’s been doing so much the last few months; we now have 9 gleaming white teeth in his beautiful beaming smile, and a 10th not far behind. He’s so into everything; crawling at a pace many struggle to walk, climbing up anything and everything. Talking nonsense to anyone who’ll listen, with such sincerity even strangers in the street feel compelled to stop and chat to him!
His beautiful blonde hair gets longer and thicker every time I look at him. Won’t be long before he’s sporting his Daddy’s curly hair I’m sure of it! And despite my conviction that one day he will grow into his gorgeous bright big blue eyes, they seem to be growing with him, forever getting impossibly wide and ready to take in so many new experiences.
Last month we celebrated his first birthday. We had a big party with lots of friends and family. He didn’t have a clue what was going on but I loved putting it all on for him, balloons cake etc, the works. He was just happy to have other babies and chidren to play with! On the day of his actual birthday we took him to a local zoo, and he loved seeing all the animals. A really nice family day out that we haven’t really had many of yet. I’m hoping there’ll be lots more.
The last couple of weeks he’s started to give the most heart melting cuddles and is even trying to give slobbery kisses!
Last week I had to leave him for 5 whole days and it destroyed me. He didn’t care much at all when I waved bye, but I was a blubbering wreck! I spoke to him on Skype each night, and he got so excited when he saw me, seemingly telling me all about his days with Daddy.
Last night was my first time I spent back with him, and it was a wonderful evening. Hubby and I sat each side of our lounge, and, having gained some confidence from the few steps he managed last week, he used all his efforts and managed to walk, backwards and forwards, between us both! He giggled and shrieked as he stumbled the 10 steps or so between us both, each time with his arms outstretched, ready for the praising kisses and cuddles he was rewarded with when he reached us.
My heart melted as I sat and watched my baby turn into a toddler.
Today, less than 24hrs after realising steps actually can equal walking, he’s off. Happily wobbling his way towards the sofa to show off to his Auntie on Skype, or a few handy steps to help him chase the cat.
He’s growing up in front of our eyes so quickly. I can’t even begin to comprehend how grown up he’ll be by the time Baby gets here in 4 short months.
My Hubby’s loving it; last week he took F to get his first pair of proper shoes, and today he’s ordered him (a rather posh) balance bike for Christmas! I think he’s loving it now that F is getting to a playful age, and I think he really enjoyed their bonding during some Father Son time last week.
And on that note I should probably mention.
For all the above reasons and more, he’s being amazing. Nothing is too much effort for him at the moment, and his supportiveness through all my new ideas and ventures, whilst trying to look after a toddler and grow another baby, has been my rock. We’re getting on really well, the best we have in ages really. Not that we didn’t get on before, but somehow we’ve found a new level of, well I don’t know really; happiness? Or is that just a tad too corny?!
So my life just seems to be ram-packed at the moment. So many fingers in so many pies. But I’m actually loving it now. No longer full of fear about the ‘what ifs’, I’m getting excited about the ‘whens’. Its going to be hard work; the next year or so. But I’m staying focussed and positive, and can’t wait for Christmas next year, when hopefully everything should have fallen into place.
So there you have it, as brief as possible summary of the last few weeks/months. Maybe now I can start writing posts about things as they happen, or maybe there’ll be many more posts like this, who knows!
Thanks for taking the time to read. x